I was struggling for several years. In retrospect this was the least of my problems but I felt that grappling with "big life questions" took its toll on me. They were terrifying because I felt like I had to come up with answers immediately. What should I do with my life was the re-occurring one and it drained me mentally. Beyond that, I wasn't doing well academically. I had issues with my university since the first year I started there. The problems snowballed and I felt like my university experience was constant an uphill battle. The shit hit the fan when I was accused of plagiarism in one of my classes 2 weeks before the end of the year. The punishments were drastic even though I maintained my innocence. The way that they treated me was frustrating because I was considered guilty until proven innocent - what kind of legal system is that?! So, school was a drag. I had ongoing problems surrounding my health, family, and my income. The cherry on top was the burdening depression I had to deal with every day combined with anxiety. Ultimately, I was unhappy for what felt like a long time.
Thinking about where my life is right now makes my whole being flutter. I am grateful to have my mother who gives me unconditional love and support - even if we don't always get along. I am blessed to have found the love of my life, my rock. What's more is that I am lucky to have found my passion: photography fulfils me in ways that I have not experienced prior to having discovered it. 5 months ago, I had an "a-ha" moment about photography. Something simply clicked. There is nothing else that makes me feel more alive. I feel blessed, I am blessed.
I want to take advantage of this platform as much as possible. I would like to inspire people through my creativity and my creative outlets.
I'd like to end this entry by sharing a favourite poem, written a few years ago by a dear friend, D.
Warmth reminds me of forgiveness
The bloom telling winter fleeting
that it's okay that her luster had been shed
for the three months prior because
now she knows the beauty and privilege
of what is to breathe and bathe
in the biology that is her existence
Thank you for taking the time to read my first post.
Thoughts are welcome